Mean Witches
by Anna Pallaria
Summary: A Season Seven 'Episode' (1) -- The alternate season seven begins when a demon uses his powers to create evil clones of the Charmed Ones who's goal is to destroy the Power of Three.
1. Teaser

AUTHOR'S NOTE  
  
I know. I know, I am bad. I keep deleting stories, and I need to tell you, that reputation sucks. But instead of creating an alternate season six, I am going to use an alternate season seven. It wouldn't make sense to have a season six when the season has already ended. People would get bored.  
  
So this season seven carries over aspects and plot points from season six (i.e., Chris dying in "It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part I & II", Baby Chris being born, Phoebe not having her powers, etc.).  
  
I hope you enjoy it.  
  
====================================================  
  
INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN. A tall demon robed in black is brewing a potion. A demon materializes in the cavern.  
  
DEMON  
Damn it, Thor, is the potion done or not?  
  
THOR  
Patience, Diaka. There is no need for rush. The Charmed Ones   
aren't going anywhere.  
  
DEMON (DIAKA)  
But every single second we waste, they are much closer to finding  
us out.   
  
THOR  
They aren't going to find us out. The sister who receives visions of  
the future is powerless, right now. And besides, they are distracted  
by the birth of Baby Christopher Halliwell. There is no way they can  
sense what is happening here.  
  
DIAKA  
You don't know that. For all you know, they could be on our tails.  
  
THOR  
Will you shut up? The cloning potion is almost done. Now all I need  
is a drop of blood from one of the Halliwells. In fact, I think I'll leave  
that up to you.  
  
DIAKA  
What? No! No way. I'll get killed!  
  
THOR  
Well, if you don't go ...  
  
He trails of and powers up an energy ball in his hand. He pulls back his hand, as if to throw it. Diaka cowers and dematerializes. Thor squeezes the energy ball and it explodes in a small puff of smoke.  
  
THOR  
I thought you'd see it my way.  
  
He turns back to his potion and picks up a slate. He grabs another rock and begins to carve something on it. When he finishes it, we see the triquetra on the slate. Thor drops it into the potion and the potion bubbles furiously.  
  
INT. P3 - NIGHT. Paige and Phoebe are at the bar. Piper joins them.  
  
PIPER  
Hey. How's the peanut gallery over here?  
  
PHOEBE  
Aren't you supposed to be with Wyatt and Chris?  
  
PIPER  
Uh, Leo is taking care of them right now. He told me to take a break  
for awhile. So ... what are you two little chattering bugs chattering  
about?  
  
PHOEBE  
Oh, you know, the usual. Work, sex, Paige wants to open an inn.  
  
PIPER  
Oh! I see.   
(to Paige)  
Did you plan on telling me this?  
  
PAIGE  
I just did. Or rather, my sister Blabber-Mouth did.  
  
PIPER  
Well, when I said telling me, I didn't mean a "Hey, look, over here!"  
kind of approach, more like, "Piper, I've been meaning to tell you  
something".  
  
PHOEBE  
Er ... how about I go get us some drinks?  
  
She quickly gets up, and Paige jumps after her.  
  
PAIGE  
Ooh, I'll help.  
  
Piper grabs Paige and pulls her back down to her seat.  
  
PIPER  
Nice try, sister. Paige, inns are expensive, okay? When did you start  
to get this crazy idea.  
  
PAIGE  
Well, I don't know. I mean, all these wacky crazy temp jobs that I've  
been having lately. I'm just sick of them, and I wanna be the boss   
for once. No one telling me what to do.  
  
PIPER  
Did you consider the facts in owning and running an inn? Like, all  
the hiring that is involved, and all the money?  
  
PAIGE  
This from the witch who opens a club?  
  
PIPER  
I was young, and I was stupid. It's harder then it seems.  
  
PAIGE  
You know, I would have clamped my hand over Phoebe's mouth if I  
had knew the reaction you were going to have.  
  
PIPER  
Look, I am not trying to be Negative Nancy, here, but-  
  
PAIGE  
Too late.  
  
PIPER  
... but what I'm saying is, you should think this over.  
  
PAIGE  
That's what I was doing for the last six weeks. Huh! Six weeks.  
What is that? Forty two days? A month and a half? Seems like a  
good thinking period to me.  
  
Phoebe returns with a tray of drinks.  
  
PHOEBE  
Okay, we have drinks. How is Adolf Hitler and is enemy Jew doing?  
  
PAIGE  
Well, Adolf Hitler's enemy Jew is going to go home and take a little rest. Why doesn't Adolf Hitler get a drink and take a minute to   
consider how his younger sister wants to run her life?  
  
She picks up her jacket and purse and leaves the club.  
  
PIPER (calling after)  
Hitler did not have a sister!  
  
INT. MANOR - FOYER. Paige walks into the house with her jacket on. She holds her keys in one hand. An energy ball suddenly comes whizzing out of nowhere, knocking Paige across the foyer.  
  
Paige slams into the wall and falls back to the ground. She gets up and turns around to see Diaka standing there with an athame in his hand.  
  
PAIGE  
Ohh. Leo? Le-  
  
Her sentence is cut off as she orbs out, just barely missing an energy ball that has come flying in her direction. Paige reorbs behind Diaka. She kicks him in the back and he falls to the ground.  
  
PAIGE  
Athame!  
  
The athame orbs and appears in Paige's hand. She raises it to stab Diaka but he dematerializes.  
  
Paige relaxes her hand only to have Diaka rematerialize on the stairs. He holds out his hand and the athame teletransports out of Paige's hand and into Diaka's. He throws it at her and it hits her in the shoulder.  
  
PAIGE  
Uhh!  
  
She falls to the ground. Diaka motions with his hand again and the athame in Paige's shoulder appears in his hand. He holds up the bloodied athame and shakes a bit, dropping a bit of her blood into a vial.  
  
Diaka dematerializes. Paige looks at the wound on her shoulder and she falls unconscious.  
  
END OF TEASER 


	2. Act I

INT. MANOR - ATTIC - MORNING. Paige is flipping through the Book of Shadows. Piper and Phoebe stand by her sides while Leo watches from the couch, holding a baby monitor and Baby Chris in his arms.  
  
PAIGE  
Ah-ha! Right here.   
  
PHOEBE  
Him?  
  
PAIGE  
Yes! That would be the bad-ass demon that attacked me last night.  
  
PIPER  
It says that he's a lower-level demon. Has the power to   
teletransport himself and other things. He can also throw energy  
balls.  
  
PHOEBE  
I don't get it. Why would a lower-level demon attack us? I mean,  
seven years now of vanquishing demons, and they still don't  
understand that we can handle them?  
  
LEO  
Maybe he's working for someone else. He could have been sent in  
to retrieve something.  
  
PAIGE  
Well, apparently, all he wanted was my blood. Because he could  
have killed me easily, but he didn't. He just took my blood.  
  
PHOEBE  
Maybe he's a vampire.  
  
PAIGE  
A vampire who kills with an athame? I don't think so. Besides, we  
already eighty sixed all of those vampire's asses. They're not going  
to be coming after us.  
  
PIPER  
So what really makes most sense is that-  
  
Baby Chris gurgles from Leo's arms. Phoebe rushes over to him.  
  
PHOEBE  
Ohh ... he is so adorable ...  
(straightens up)  
Kind of weird seeing Baby Chris and knowing that the other Future  
Chris has-  
  
Piper gives her a look and nods over at Leo. Phoebe quickly stops in the middle of her sentence.  
  
LEO  
No. I'm okay with it.  
  
PIPER  
Really? I mean, watching your own kid die in your arms isn't exactly  
some kind of G-rated movie.  
  
LEO  
He came back here and did what was supposed to be done. Wyatt  
is safe now, and so is he.  
  
PAIGE  
Um, hello? Not to interrupt or anything, but we need to kind of get  
back on to this, because hell knows what that demon is doing with  
my blood.  
  
INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN. Diaka materializes in the cavern, holding the vial that holds Paige's blood. Thor shimmers in, sensing his presence.  
  
THOR  
Did you get it?  
  
DIAKA  
Yes. The witch put up a fight, but she was too surprised to win me  
over.  
  
THOR  
Who cares! Just give me the damn vial.  
  
Diaka hands it over to Thor who opens it and tips it over. The blood in it drops out of the vial and into the potion. The potion sizzles furiously and there's an explosion.  
  
DIAKA  
Is it done yet?  
  
THOR  
Don't ask me, ask them.  
  
He points over his shoulder and Diaka looks around him and sees three women that look identical to Piper, Paige, and Phoebe.  
  
THOR  
May I present to you the evil clones of the Charmed Ones that I  
have created.  
  
DIAKA  
Are they real?  
  
THOR  
Of course they're real, Diaka. They have the same strengths and  
powers, the same weaknesses, but just one difference. Their goal  
is to destroy the real Charmed Ones and then to dominate the   
Underworld for us.  
  
He turns back to the evil Charmed Ones.  
  
THOR  
Now, you know what your mission is?  
  
EVIL PIPER  
Kill Piper.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Kill Phoebe.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Kill Paige.  
  
Their eyes glow black. Evil Paige takes Evil Piper and Evil Phoebe's hands and they dark-orb out.  
  
INT. MANOR - ATTIC - MORNING. Paige holds the athame that was in her shoulder while looking at the Book of Shadows. Phoebe watches.  
  
PAIGE  
Nothing. I can't find any spell that will give me a premonition.  
  
PHOEBE  
Ugh, this sucks. I mean, without my powers, I can't even help  
defend you or get a premonition. Hasn't the Tribunal seen that I'm  
trying really hard to earn my powers back?  
  
PAIGE  
Just be patient. When the time's right, they'll give them back to you.  
What you can do is cast spells and make potions, and that could   
help me a lot, and-  
  
The three evil Charmed Ones dark-orb into the attic. Paige and Phoebe look up and see them.  
  
PHOEBE  
Whoa.  
  
PAIGE  
Okay, they look evil to me.  
  
Evil Paige throws out her hand.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Athame!  
  
The athame in Paige's hand dark-orbs out and Evil Paige hurls it at Paige. She orbs out, narrowly missing the athame. Paige orbs back in.  
  
PAIGE  
I've been stabbed enough this week, thank you very much.  
  
PHOEBE  
Come on, let's get out of here.  
  
Paige and Phoebe orb out.  
  
EVIL PAIGE (to Evil Piper)  
We'll follow them. You take your clone.  
  
Evil Paige and Evil Phoebe dark-orb out. Evil Piper heads out of the attic.  
  
INT. MANOR - NURSERY. Piper is putting Baby Chris in the bassinet. Leo holds Wyatt in his arms as he watches her.  
  
PIPER  
They're both just so great. I can't believe we've come this far as  
parents.  
  
LEO  
He has your eyes.  
  
PIPER  
Hmm?  
  
LEO  
Chris. He has your eyes.  
  
There's a moment of silence between Piper and Leo. The silence is interrupted as Paige and Phoebe orb in.  
  
PAIGE  
I just attacked myself!  
  
PIPER  
What?  
  
PHOEBE (panting)  
There are evil clones ... of us. They just attacked us in the attic.  
  
LEO  
Evil clones? What are you talking about?  
  
Evil Paige and Evil Phoebe dark-orb into the nursery.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
They're talking about us.  
  
Everyone turns around and sees Evil Paige and Evil Phoebe standing at the doorway of the nursery.  
  
PIPER  
Leo get Wyatt and Chris out of here.  
  
LEO  
But-  
  
PIPER  
Go! Hurry!  
  
Leo puts his hand on the bassinet that holds Baby Chris and orbs out with Chris and Wyatt.  
  
PIPER (to Evil Paige and Phoebe)  
So ... where's my clone?  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Oh, she'll be joining us shortly.  
  
As if on cue, Evil Piper slides into the nursery between Evil Paige and Phoebe. The sisters and their clones stare at each other. Then they turn and huddle up.  
  
PIPER  
Okay, so what do we ...  
  
EVIL PIPER  
... do now?  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
How about we just orb in from behind and ...  
  
PHOEBE  
... kick their asses.  
  
PAIGE  
But if they're clones, they'll expect that coming. Remember the ...  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
... parallel worlds? It was useless, because we ...  
  
PAIGE  
All thought alike.   
  
PIPER  
So how about we think of something completely ...  
  
EVIL PIPER  
... different that they would never suspect. Then we would have ...  
  
PIPER  
... the advantages.  
  
PAIGE  
All right, so how about we cast a Power of Three spell right now to  
vanquish their sorry asses.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Right. Okay.  
  
The three evil sisters hold hands, as do the three good sisters.  
  
PIPER  
Destroy the evil ...  
  
EVIL PIPER (same time)  
Destroy the good ...  
  
PIPER and EVIL PIPER  
... that lies behind us.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Make them suffer ...  
  
PHOEBE  
... and direct them to hell.  
  
PAIGE  
We cast them out ...  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
... with this triquetra spell.  
  
A blue light forms between Piper, Phoebe, and Paige while a black light forms between Evil Piper, Evil Phoebe, and Evil Paige. The blue light shoots out at the evil clones at the same time as the black light shoots out at the sisters. The two lights hit each other midair and explode.  
  
The force of the explosion knocks all six sisters to the ground. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe are the first to get up.  
  
PIPER  
Come on. Let's get out of here.  
  
They hold hands and orb out of the nursery. The three clones suddenly flash out of the nursery.  
  
INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN. The three clones flash into the cavern. Thor stands in front of them.  
  
THOR  
Have you succeeded your mission, yet?  
  
EVIL PIPER  
It's impossible, Thor. We all think alike.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
You created us so whenever we attack them, they attack us with  
the same method.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
And it sucks, too.  
  
EVIL PIPER  
So change it, or we're outta here.  
  
Thor turns back to the potion that he used to create the clones and starts get out ingredients, as we CUT TO ... 


	3. Act II

INT. MANOR - ATTIC. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe are looking through the Book of Shadows.  
  
PHOEBE  
Someone really should index this damn book.  
  
PIPER  
Well, keep looking. It's gotta be in there somewhere.  
  
PAIGE  
I still don't understand what kind of demon has the power to create  
clones out of us. Has anyone ever been able to do that before?  
  
PIPER  
Well, there were those dimwitted blonde bimbettes who stole our  
identities. Does that count?  
  
PAIGE  
No. I mean, that was different. This time, it's evil clones who are  
identical to us and think exactly the same and have our powers.  
  
PHOEBE  
And they know how to use them. Ohh! Ohh! I found it!  
  
PAIGE  
Clones?  
  
PHOEBE  
No, but a demon who has the power to create clones. His name's  
Thor.  
(reading from the Book)  
An upper-level demon who has an extraordinary variety of powers.  
One of his known powers is the ability to create clones from other  
people's blood.  
  
PIPER  
So then it was this Thor guy who created clones?  
  
PAIGE  
Makes sense. It says he uses our blood, and so it was probably  
him who sent that lower-level demon after me.  
  
PIPER  
Is there a vanquish?  
  
PHOEBE  
Uh, yeah. Potion is right in here.  
  
PAIGE  
So what's our plan?  
  
PIPER  
We make the demon be-gone, vanquish Thor, and hopefully when  
he disappears, so will the clones.  
  
EVIL PIPER (v.o.)  
Talking about us?  
  
Piper, Phoebe, and Paige turn around and see the three evil clones. Evil Piper waves her hands and sends a blast at them. The force of the explosion Piper, Phoebe, and Paige onto the ground.  
  
Paige spots an athame on the table and calls for it.  
  
PAIGE  
Athame!  
  
The athame orbs out and Paige hurls it at the three clones. Evil Piper freezes it mid air.  
  
PHOEBE (whispering to Piper)  
Shouldn't Evil Paige have done the same thing as her?  
  
Evil Phoebe turns to Phoebe and jumps up in the air and levitates. She kicks Phoebe in the face, knocking her back.  
  
PAIGE  
What the hell?  
  
PIPER  
But Phoebe doesn't even have her powers.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Didn't expect that did you? Well, believe it or not, we have a few  
surprises of our own.  
  
EVIL PIPER and EVIL PHOEBE and EVIL PAIGE  
Calling upon our Power of Three,  
vanquish these three witches as a unity ...  
  
PHOEBE (shouting)  
Paige, get us out of here!  
  
EVIL PIPER and EVIL PHOEBE and EVIL PAIGE  
... this spell we cast will stop their breath,  
and in the end will bring to them death.  
  
Black sparkling lights appear in the eyes of the evil clones and shoot out at Piper, Paige, and Phoebe.  
  
Paige tackles Piper and Phoebe to the ground, orbing them out. The black lights hit the attic wall, which explodes upon impact.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Damn! We were so close!   
  
INT. P3 - NIGHT. The club is closed. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe orb in on the stage.   
  
PHOEBE  
I don't understand.  
  
PAIGE  
What?  
  
PHOEBE  
It was like they had completely different minds. When you orbed the  
athame, your clone didn't. And my clone could levitate.  
  
PIPER  
Maybe Thor changed them. Gave them different minds, and brought  
powers to your clone.  
  
PHOEBE  
Well, that gives them the damn advantage.  
  
PIPER  
This sucks. How can we vanquish them? We can't go back to the  
manor, because they'll be there.  
  
PHOEBE  
The potion ingredients are there, too.  
  
PAIGE  
But what if we did something different?  
  
PIPER  
Huh?  
  
PAIGE  
Think about it. If they're really clones, that means they have the  
same weaknesses and strengths as us, right?  
  
PHOEBE  
Yeah, so what?  
  
PAIGE  
What if we found one of our major weaknesses, and used it against  
them? They'd never suspect it.  
  
PHOEBE  
I think I'm getting your point. All right. So a major weakness for us?  
  
PIPER  
If the Power of Three is severed.  
  
INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT. Evil Piper is lounging on the couch, while Evil Paige sits beside her. Evil Phoebe levitates herself in the air and relaxes there.  
  
EVIL PIPER  
This sucks. It doesn't look like they're coming any time soon.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
I'm bored. Can I go kill someone and you can call me when they  
come back?  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Can I come with you?  
  
EVIL PIPER  
No! We need to stay as three. Once they're gone, we'll go kill.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
It's not like they're going to come. They may be good, but they ain't  
stupid.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Just call me when they come.  
  
EVIL PIPER  
No! Paige-  
  
Evil Paige dark-orbs out of the room.  
  
EVIL PIPER  
Damn it!  
  
INT. APARTMENT. A woman is watching television. Evil Paige dark-orbs into the room.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
I know what's better than a movie.  
  
The woman screams and runs for the door. Evil Paige gestures and dark-orbs the door closed.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
Knife!  
  
A knife dark-orbs into Evil Paige's hand and she throws it at the woman. Time suddenly freezes in place. The knife freezes in midair, and so does the woman. Evil Paige remains unfrozen.  
  
PIPER (v.o.)  
You really need a new hobby.  
  
Evil Paige turns and sees Piper with her hands poised.  
  
EVIL PAIGE  
You!  
  
PIPER  
Me.  
  
Piper waves her hands and sends a blast that knocks Evil Paige through the air. She slams into the wall and falls unconscious. Piper plucks the knife out of the air and grips it tightly.  
  
She then plunges the knife into Evil Paige's back and sinks it in. Evil Paige explodes in a burst of flames.  
  
INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT. Evil Piper flies across the room and crashes into the wall. Shortly after that, Evil Phoebe does, too. Paige and Phoebe advance on them.  
  
PAIGE  
Having fun?  
  
EVIL PIPER  
Paige! Paige, where are you!  
  
Piper materializes between Paige and Phoebe in a burst of golden orbs.  
  
PIPER  
She's dead.  
  
EVIL PHOEBE  
Wha-  
  
PIPER  
And you will shortly be joining her.  
  
Both Evil Piper and Evil Phoebe scream and shriek as they burst into a fiery display of fire and smoke and disappear out of sight.  
  
PHOEBE  
Hmm, I just vanquished myself. Way to go Pheebs.  
  
PAIGE  
We're not quite done yet. There's still one more bad ass to kill.  
  
INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN. Diaka stands in front of Thor, furious.  
  
DIAKA  
They died! How could you let that happen? We had the complete  
advantage on our side, and you let it all go.  
  
THOR  
It wasn't my fault. The witches found the clones' weaknesses and  
used it against them. I couldn't do anything to stop that.  
  
DIAKA  
You do not know how bad this is. The Charmed Ones are probably  
after us right now, and-  
  
PHOEBE (v.o.)  
Hello to you, too.  
  
Diaka and Thor both turn and see Piper, Paige, and Phoebe standing right in front of them. The sisters all throw vials at Diaka and Thor's feet. They both scream and burst into flames and disappear.  
  
PIPER  
I never get tired of kicking demon ass.  
  
INT. 1456 PRESCOTT STREET - DAY. Piper and Phoebe have their eyes blindfolded. Paige leads them to the empty property at 1456 Prescott St.  
  
PAIGE  
Okay, you can look now.  
  
Piper and Phoebe pull off their blindfolds.  
  
PAIGE  
May I present to you the property of the soon-to-be, P3 Inn.  
  
PHOEBE  
Wow! Honey, it's amazing!  
  
PIPER  
You named it after my club?  
  
PAIGE  
Yes. It's named after P3 and it stands for us.  
  
PIPER  
The Power of Three.  
  
PHOEBE  
I like it.  
  
PIPER  
It kicks ass.  
  
PAIGE  
Really?  
  
PIPER  
Yeah.  
  
PAIGE  
Yeah?  
  
PIPER  
Yeah.  
  
PAIGE  
Sure?  
  
PIPER  
Enough, already!  
  
They laugh and hug, sharing the moment between them.  
  
FADE OUT  
  
END OF EPISODE  
  
FINAL THOUGHTS: I hope you enjoyed my alternate season seven episode. Look forward to more!  
  
This is your conscience ... write a review! :o) 


End file.
